Kinks and Sexual Fetishes: What You Need To Know
Whether you realise it or not, kinks and fetishes are becoming more mainstream. Foot fetishes, bondage and roleplay, are kinks we have all heard of before. But, if you are looking to explore the world of BDSM, you might want to know more about the common fetishes you will come across along the way.
Before we delve into the different fetishes we need to cover the basics. What does “kink” and “fetish” actually mean? Kink is a blanket term that covers all unconventional sexual desires and behaviours. Any type of sexual activity that is not your mainstream or “traditional” sex. A fetish is also a term that describes unusual sexual arousal or sexual play. However, a fetish is a sexual necessity, a behaviour or inanimate object that someone cannot become aroused without. For example, if you like to spice it up in the bedroom by spanking your partner, that's a kink. If you cannot get aroused without playing with someone's feet, that’s a fetish.
Now the boring bit is out of the way let’s get down to the juicy stuff. Here are our top sexual kinks and fetishes that are most commonly seen in a BDSM community.
Bondage
You guessed it, the B in BDSM stands for bondage. Bondage is a form of sexual dominance where one partner, usually the submissive, is restrained emotionally or physically by the other. You can restrain your partner using household objects, like ties or belts, or for the more experienced kinks, you can purchase speciality items like handcuffs, ankle restraints or even straight jackets. When practising bondage experts do warn that it should be enjoyed with caution. Not only can restraints be uncomfortably tight but can cause nerve damage (in the worst-case scenario). You should set a safe word to let your partner know when enough is enough.
Sensation Play
Sensation play can be one of the more PG kinks out there but do not be fooled it can be extremely pleasurable. Sensation play covers many different activities including temperature play, sensory deprivation, tickling and much more! Try sensory deprivation by using blindfolds to cover up your partner's eyes. Their other senses are heightened making the sexual activity more intense. Or experiment with temperature play by running ice over your partner's body, leaving them with a rush of sensations. For extra intensity try pairing these activities with restraints or bondage. The important thing to remember is your entire body, not just the genitals, is the focus of sensation play.
Foot Fetishes
A foot fetish is pretty simple, this is when you become aroused by feet. Although some people may be grossed out by the thought of it, this is a very common fetish, mostly in men. People who have a foot fetish see feet as sacred and get pleasure from touching, massaging, smelling or kissing them. On the other hand, some kinks, mainly in a sub dom relationship, enjoy the humiliation of having smelly feet in their face or having their feet harmed. This is more commonly a fetish than a kink, but it might be something you want to play around with.
Orgasm Control
Also known as edging, teasing or peaking, orgasm control is when you stop yourself or stop the sexual activity with a partner when they are on the cusp of climax. This is often repeated a few times before allowing your partner to climax. The intensity of repeatedly building up orgasms will result in an incredibly pleasurable climax. This kink is commonly used by dominants on their submissives as a form of control. It is your dominants decision when you climax, not yours. Experts also say experimenting with orgasm control is essential for healthy sex life.
Impact Play
Impact play is the practice of spanking, whipping, flogging, paddling or any other form of consensual striking. Have you ever seen Californication? If you have fucking and punching will ring a bell. The intensity levels of impact play it up to you and will depend on your experience. Start with a light spanking and move on to cracking the whip. If you are new to this kink try starting with fatty stops like your bum. It is important to communicate with your partner, it is supposed to be arousing, not unbearably painful.
Cuckolding
Cuckolding is a form of non-monogamy where the cuckold (the submissive partner) watches their partner engage in sexual activity with someone else. The cuckold is either present in the room or is receiving pictures or messages of what is happening. For some, the submissive feels like the inferior sexual partner and gains arousal from the humiliation and jealousy from their partner having sex with someone else. For others, it is a way of spicing things up in the bedroom. Couples who engage in cuckolding generally have a strengthened bond or greater trust between them.
Voyeurism
Voyeurism is when you gain pleasure from looking at people naked or watching them engage in sexual activities. Voyeurism differs from cuckolding as the voyeur has zero interaction with the couple, only watches. This can be performed when the couple is unaware of the voyeur, known as a “peeping Tom”. But more commonly all parties are consensual and is performed at sex parties or pre-arranged encounters. If you are the couple then you become an exhibitionist rather than a voyeur.
Roleplay
Roleplay is a form of exploring a sexual fantasy, usually involving dressing up. In sub dom relationships the roles will follow the pattern of a dominant character and a submissive character, for example, the naughty schoolgirl and her professor. Others use roleplay to act out our sexual fantasies, for example, the classic Princess Leia in the gold bikini. Roleplay scenes can often negotiate a desire or something off-limits, like having sex with a stranger. Why not try playing around with alter egos and taking your roles out of the bedroom. Maybe you meet a stranger at a coffee shop and take them home for a night of passion and unadulterated fun. Roleplay is a fun way to express yourself in the bedroom.
Kinks and fetishes vary between people and relationships, as fundamentally, we all have different sexual interests. Exploration with different kinks can be invigorating but as long as everything is consensual. However, it is important to remember before getting into a relationship with someone with a sexual fetish, it is not something you can change. It will always be the thing they need for sexual gratification.
Find singles and couples looking to explore in our BDSM community. Here you will find someone to fulfil your fetish desires.
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